Pelangi senja

Ad hamba Allah kt tmpat krja ni ckap
Tgk kite ni sejuk je
Penenang jiwa

Ehem :p
Haha bgusla cmtu
Xsgke plak kan
Tapi... Tak bwk mksud ape2 pon
Kalau it came from org yg x mean anything to me
Well it was flattering,sure lah
Manusia mane tak suka dipuji
Tapi..

Tak mksd ape2 pon..
Sigh

Mgharap one day bole lupekan pkcik tuh
And idup tenang aman damai

Ngadu kt tuhan je lah kite :l
Dia bg hujan dlu sbab nk bg pelangi nanti
Have some faith

melayan cite hindustan.. eh :p

aritu tengok cita nih

aitraaz

akshay kumar omg nsem nya pakai camni

hehehe smart nya mamat nih
cair :p

:/

Am missing him so much
But he doesnt care to bother

Sigh ni ke balasan ape ak buat kt dia dlu

Dont punish me just yet pls ya allah :'(

pre-india :)

alhamdulillah...
sampai jugak hehehe

sangat2 nak pergi taj mahal india nih kan
alhamdulillah slamat jugak smpai kat another wonder of the world

great wall of china (2011), taj mahal (2013)

sekarang tengah browse through gambar lagi... tak sabo nak share kat blog kesayangan :D

Quick updte

Ad perasaan tak senang,tak sedap,pelik.
Malam nih..hmmm nape nih :')

Cant wait to update bout the trip. . :)

Mari2 cik adik

..mari2 cik abang..
Tari silang muda

Ke silat muda
Haha ntah

#nw anakku sazali

1st step

Alhamdulillah...mom dad were elated tengok surat nih..me. ..not so much hhe..sebab baru balik klinik dpt surat keja acaner nak hepi kan..haha..tapi lega..mcm mana raanya bkerja nti nih.. :)

Ameen

Ameen..doakan sy ye haha

Kurus lah cepat

Tak selera makan arinih..my fmly kept asking me why i havent eaten anything yet..i barely ate anything..emmm xslera :')

Raya for certain people..

..not necessarily mean all happy stuffs.

Im glad she came to me and shared this..kdg2 kite juat xd tmpt nk share certain thing..and emm tak smua raya org tu happy je kan..bgaye bju raye bla3..propa aje la tv sume tu huhu..lpas msg tu right away call try comfort die..lepas abis tu dah calm down skit she told me apsal byk.sgt gelak nih smcam aje..msti tgh smbuyi smtg je..haha..emm pndai die.sy mmg glk klo nk cover sdih :') 

And one thing hrpnye kami dijauhkn dri jd anak2 mcm tu..kite x tau mase akn dtg mcm mane,hrpannya xjadi mcm tu..ameen

Raye ni jgak kena jadi lg baik dri sblum nih..if i were to do it again,i would try and make it right this time.tharu bace cite hattan yg re marry ngn ex wife die blan puasa aritu..bkan sy nak jd mcmni,tp suke ngn prubahan hattan tu yg jd lpas split ngn ex wife tu.that shows mbe for crtain ppl fasa prubhn die jd lpas hilang org tuh..gitu..hahah 

lme plak ni..tgh tgu nk braye nih.ikot aje lah..raya raya raya :/

J'aime moi famille :)

This is my family..penat masing2 nih bru balik ke rumah..singgah mkn mcd jap..sy nih still xmkn mcd so had kfc's krushers instead..samlai bila xmkn xtau lg hehe tgk nafsu mcd nih cmne gi hahah..
Op gmba ni xd my youngest bro hilmi.still kat kmpung having the time of his life ngn cousins. .
Penat da kami ni smpai sy ngn mama pun ttdo time amek gmba haha :p
Excuse the face xmekap lgsung tuh haha xdtg rajin td ingt dok dlm keta je wawawa

The worthwile wait

It takes time for me to go extra miles
Take extra lengths
To commit and do all the sweet stuff to someone

Tak bagus
Cos nobody waits that long
But thats just my style
And at the time i finally rase nk bt the stuff for him
Wlopun slow and mgkin kna more effort lg
unfortunately too late

So many reservations
But mybe all thse would make the wait more worthwhile

Ni kes sedih lg le ni teringt biskut raya tu grrrr

Selamat hari raya :)

Tahun ni sbab banyak masa free..eh tak actuallysbab mama suruh buat choc chip cookies tu lg,trajin la plak buat yg lain2..

Ni la selfmade sweet treats yg ak buat ntok raya stkat nih..hehe nti mgkin buat rmah tbka so mgkin tmbh lg klo rjin mgkin tak kalau x brapa rjin ehee..

mama suruh buat cos she likes mine so much huhu..buat dah raya thn lpas,and ad bwk skit bg geng2 kt uia tu mkn and alhamdulillah they also loved it..hehe.shari abes satu tupperware tu 
choc chip cookies tu resepi amek kt intenet je..resei famous amos..cer google

emm sebenarnya thn ni xd mood sgt nk bt2 biskut ni..esp yg choc chip ni..cos ad niat sbb org kate sdp dlu,ad psg niat nk bg mr ex bskut nih utk raye thn nih..huhu..so hjt tu x ksampaian plak since im recently single nih :/
so mnde2 ni brought kinda hurtful memories.
but dmi mama yg nak sgt i buat biskut ni wlopun byk kali gk kate mama dba xd mood nk bake thn ni huhu...tp yelah kna suck it up jgk kan :'/

hmm nape cite sedih2 ni haha
biase la kan dlm proses lg..
lgpun mase braye rmah busu2 sume byk sntuh ,nasihat pasal marriage,trust,fasa perubahan,jgn ego.so sdkit sbyk kite dgar,cube brubah..

eh2 melalut plak hehe..btw arini 1st day g braye dpt rm40.x expect dpt lg duit raya sbb da besar kan..haha besar ke ..ad igt kite ni bdk f5 lg wkwk

ok la tu hrhe..

selamat hari raya maaf zahir batin

The perfect combo

..to the road of happiness..
Hehe comey kan die..

Dear god please take away all the sorrow,bless this soul with contentment..

La tahzan

Getting inspired

Thanks for the memories

Sign

When i think balik rasa tak significantnyaaaa,tah pape je gadoh sbab sorang yg lgsung tak significant dlm hidup aku erkkh..

Rasa geram  ttba
Sabar2 subuh dlu :(
Takda ape jd yg kebetulan
Mungkin petujuk he was not the one
 and something for my life lesson. .be a better person

This kind of thought makes me feel  better

i almost do

lagu taylor swift ni syok2 sumenye
layaan :)



I bet this time of night you're still up.
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me.

And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply.
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you
And risk another goodbye.

And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.

Oh, we made quite a mess, babe.
It's probably better off this way.
And I confess, babe,
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I wanna try again with you.
And I almost do.

And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you.
And I wish I could run to you.
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do,
I almost do.

I bet this time of night you're still up.
I bet you're tired from a long hard week.
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city.
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me.

While waiting..

Dengar2 nya lagi 2,3 minggu..
Wawawa nevesnya sy..agk2 mane la dicampaknya sy nih hehe

Slmat bbka puasa
Smtre tggu nak bbke ni jom bdoa..
Dngar2 makbul doa insyaAllah

:)

back to december

..It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you

Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine..

i apologize for what ive done.
if only awak..im sorry for not being like whom uve expected from me :'(
tnggi expectation awak kat sy.. trime kasih sbab bagi pndang sy tinggi..
cuma sy tak ckup baik utk awak..

i've swallowed my pride seeking forgiveness, cos i know it's my wrongdoing.
but this is it..
i'll try moving on from u.if that;s what u want.

sebenarnya saya la isteri dia haha :P

Hehe kwn skola ssp dlu nih..ttngok cita sebenanrnya saya istri dia ngn member dia..acaner la tjebak kan pdahal cta tu lama abes..heheh tharu saye penat blakon tau :p

Smpai skarang pun tngah gila lagu Kita forteen ost cita nih..lpas tgk cite ni wlopun 2 ke 3 epi je dlu trus sangkut kt izzue islam tuh haha..ops laki org laa :(

Tgk ig izzue sweet sgt ngn wife die skg..dush dush jeles2

Bile tgk ig die tu bru tau izzue isle ni anok klate upenye.. Sobs bile da cmni sdih plak sbb wlpoun kite nih aboh oghe klate tp kite xpndai kecek klate pon :'(

Bile da cmni bru kau smgt nk mgaku org klate kn farah..sparuh je pun boleyy kn haha
Pape pun nk lyn lgu Kita nih lagi..best2

Kau renunglah wajahku

Dimanakah hilangnya raut seperti dulu bila dicemar air mata

Ku tak mahu berpisah kerana hati masih sayang pada dirimu

Tapi harapan makin kabur

Korus

Manakah kita jika kau dan aku tidak sekata

Sepi walaupun bila bersama

Dekatkan pun tetapi berjauh hati

Manakah kita bila sering bertentangan

sahaja walaupun bibir cuba menafi

Hakikat percaya tanya dengan jujur

Manakah kita

Dijiwaku sengsara menanggung derita

kerana cinta berubah tapi tak mahu kehilanganmu

S

:)

Sementra mnunggu abah siap nak ke bazar ramdhan putrajaya...
Heheh lame da x camwhore

Maaf

Betapa senang mintak maaf dgn Dia,insyaAllah..

Tapi payahnya nak mengharap kemaafan manusia..siape2 je lah..bukan mnyalhkn sesiapa,tapi lumrahnya memang manusia nih tak sempurna.bukan semua pemaaf,bukan semua snang lupakan..
Diri sendiri nih pun sama :/

#notetoself


nways,looking forward for nxt week i guess..lpas g putrajaya send off all the docs ke jpa..my sis and i nak sgt pegi someplace yg ad beach..we're being melanchoic at the moment hehe 
:'/ tapi yup idup kena trus and sblum im off to my workplace which tak tau la mane nti,i want a break and though i hate the beach haha,its the prfect place for both of us .like i said both of us are kinda melancholic skg nih hehe

plannya nak ke kuantan pantai tc tuh but since clearance dah selesai tru phone,maybe pegi someplace else..

kinda sucks being in this situation..the moment ure laughing having fun and all,tiba2 semacam plak..i mean just now abah b4 tdo asked me to lie down nxt to him smpai ttdo,to keep him company..its normal in our home,abah mmg manja cmtu dgn anak2 die
:-) eh
:p  

most of the i'd pass haha tapi td mcm xsmpai hati..and u see,as i lied there waiting for him to sleep..i held his hands and suddnly teary eyes lah plak.ifelt aad.i felt like i donno, all of a sudden a stream of emotions just raced in my mind. tried hiding it,luckily i
managed to.i know abah xsuka.tgk ak cmni

i feel sorry for him for not being a good daughter,not being a good eldest child of his,i feel sorry cos i kbow he likes children so much..i mean i know its gonna take some time for our fmly to have a small kid in the house now.poor abah no children in the house so ended up pampering us bdak2 besa gajah ni hahaha.. i know this is all silly to be thought of but like i said i am a bit melancholic skrang nih 
:'/ hehe 

excuse the ramblings 
slmat bpuase

Stay strong lea

Watching glee wont be the same after this..
My sister and i are both gleeks..kinda hard processing this

:'(

:'(

I feel like such an idiot.
Apsal aku buat mnde tuh td huwaaa

Saya dan kuda saya ingin mengucapkan..

...selamat berpuasa.
And ive juat had a great way to kick start this ramadan..tq for the advice..im on my way to recovery ecececeh so bit of advice would be helpful..shukran orang tak bnama

ni masa 2nd day masa bertugas utk sukan equestrian masa sukma..masa nih hati tgah :'( lagi tapi sucked it up jgak..see that smile.seems legit kan ;p

Rindu

Rindu.
No words can describe it.
I shoukd hate u but i can't.
I just couldnt.

Mesti dia bersenang lenang kat sane
Hate it how men can be over stupid stuff mcm ni cepat2

Kita ni bukan main susah nak lupa dia
:'(

Mungkin.

Bila menangis selalunya fikir ada ke yang akan syang and terima aku macam dia dulu..
Rasa macam takde dah..
Bila dia yang sabar tu pun tak tahan, orang lain pun mesti lagi tak tahan..

Tapi fikir balik kenapa ada such thoughts
The right one would accept and love me just the way i am,without trying to change me or anything

He's out there somewhere
Just doa and try to be a good person
And the right person would come eventually
Cepat atau lambat

Abh cakap jodoh dah ditetapkan
Penyebab aje belum datang

Bulan puasa pun dah datang
Doa aje lah mintak kekuatan,kesabaran
Taknlama lagi nak kerja,akan dpt pengalaman baru,jumpa org baru,tinggal kat tmpat baru,layan kerrnah lagi mcm2 orang

Bila rasa susah selalu nak ad someone utk dengar mslah kita
Tapi kalau belum ada,menangis aje lah dengan Dia..mgkin Dia bagi mnda nih nak suruh aku lagi dekat ngn Dia..

Mungkin.

kerja gila

Apsal dok repeat lgu i still believe nih
There's nothing more,nothing left to believe in and to have faith to anymore lah :/

:')

i'll wait for u.
Whoever u are

Maaf lah kalau sapa2 tbaca meluat ngn post blog nih skarang,memang tengah jiwa pelik skarang nih

kalau mluat sila jgn baca..anda dpt dosa kering ja mngutuk sy..sy tau sbb ad few ppl pnah mention bace blog nih snyap2..sy xmarah sbb trafik blognsy jalan jer

its not easy 

Reminiscence

There are times. .quite a few actually,that i dont wish to get over this..tadi,tengok gmbar makanan sedap teringat dia,tengok kfc teringat dia,tengok baju hitam bergantung kat kedai teringat dia,nampak shawl pashmina teringat dia,dengar lagu lucky teringat dia,tengok coklat kinder bueno teribgat dia

Oiii hape nih farah

Tapi ada masa boleh laughed at this thing,and also bila time tuh sangat nak get over benda nih..

Sabar lah baru bbrpa hari nih. . :')

How do you know you're over someone

What a coincidence..the excerpt from the current novel i'm reading 'Going La La'
About a girl who travelled six thousand miles away from her ex who said he needed space..
Amboih how i wish i was frankie this very moment..kalau dia boleh travel from london to LA, i do hope i could do so from semenanjung ke sabah sarawak balik ke..mnunggu placement utk practical nih,bdebar plak rasa..oh tuhan Kau lebih tahu.tolong bagi aku yang terbaik..

tak sabar nak get over this..

My take on being recently single

Enjoying singlehood once again.
Its kinda odd cos now ive been used to havibg someone with me to talk to etc but at the time i was with somwone i felt like i was a singleton. .identity crisis maybe

Oh for the record i wasnt being dumped,screw people who think so.
It was a.mutual decision..the relationship was beyond saving already.though it being mutually decided,i'd say that the troublemaker was ehem yours truly actually..
So being this mischievous troublemaker..  he coulndt bare with moi anymore,and after i  tried making amends in hope to save the pieces of us left,still to no avail..so no point being us.he couldnt forget/accept what did,i oso cannot stand being sullen treated lah..so bye2 awak

Its also decided.i cant continue with sukma alrrady.my heart's not in it..i know i should have sucked it up and just go along with it..but its too painful lah for now.the fact that this isnt compulsory,i did it just for money so whatever mcm abh ckap the money bole cari tmpat lain..i hardly believe he said that actually but whatever screw this..

Sukma is not really a bad thing actually.lots of things ive discovered..about people,social handling skills..and that what horrifies me the most how easy crrtain men can make advances on u little lady juat bcos they are superior than u..its another reason im leaving..super-awkward..i dint think i can face this man who only known me for 2,3 days and make generous yet inappropriate offer to have me tidur kat rumah dia throughout this event..i 1st thought it was a harnless joke bloke always use to flatter ladies,lagi2 mmg salu kna mtk tolong ngan abg nih so tpakse layan je la in the most casual tak bmksud ape2 manner.turnrd out he's being serious.uh oh.. Super awkward.i know he's charming good looking but gila lah kite ni org islam.eventhough i was not in a good emotional state due to this pre-break up, but i was still in a sound mind not to layan bnda cmnih..tapi kna kerja ngn dia lg ni la buat awkward gila nih. so leaving is the best idea tak nak aku jumpa org cmtuh lg..

Banyak lg perangai manusia jmpa..yg rase pelik and significant cos me being me, i hardly have the chance meeting new people outside my study/work based.meaningnjrg la nk bgaul ngn org bukan nerd,science stream nih..lain prasaan nya.

So now emm..i just wanna dok rmah..do the usual mourning stuff and all..stuff myself up with ice cream,sad breakup songs,sad movies (mcm atonement..nangis nk gila tgk cta nih)..i still need all these..i hope i can recover by the time of my practical..this raya wont feel the same..raya single la plak tahun nih.baru ja thn lpas jmpa auntie, auntie tnye farah bila lg..masa tuh tsyum malu aje lah, skang nih tbalkn muka la kot ckp baru breakup auntie.b4 puasa.oh pathetic gila it sound..crap nye da la kalau ikot turn ak skg nih..bila pk malaise nak mlwt sdara nih sbb soalan nih msti kluar :/

Kena enjoy being solo dlu nih..camna rasenya nak start all over again..rasa pelik..tapi i'll survive.skang nih bila tgk baby comel nak nangis ja rasa,lately ni mmg emotional skit..kalau ad jodoh,ade lah..kalau lmbat ke takde tuh sabar je lah farah ye :')

Skang in phase suma laki same je haha ampun lah kalau ad mamat mmne tbaca nih..ampun beribu ampun

Skang nih tgh dok je lah..layan..supposedly bas gerak ke MABA 11 am nih..dah gtau supervisor.en li was like ala awak nak ke mana..sy nak pergi mmbawa diri dan hati nih en li hahaha..xd la ak jawab cmtuh..pndai2 la ckp emergency..tak sure abah boleh amek tak lpas zhur ni kt ktm..lepak dlu la memana,drop bag kt kl sntral..wandering around..tgok wyg ka..haha..kalau mngis dlm tu pun org xpasan kan :'(

Wonderthoughts

Everything doesnt feel the same anymore..what will be the end of this :'/

Remorse

Here i am lying on bed
The temperaure of my body was warm
And i know in the midst of this sunny day
I shouldnt be in the arms of comforting blanket with socks on..
But im feeling so sick.so cold
Feel sick of the illness
Sick of the people ive met recently
So sick that i cant wait to be out of here
Sick of whats going on my life now
I feel empty.vague.
So much bcos particularly ive hurt this one person i shouldnt have
Us getting back together was a blessing
And now its my doing once again that we've grown apart
More than ever..
Im sorry.i know i dont deserve Us anymore..
Hoping that we could sort it out after this sukma thing
Whether or not we .. :/
Though we've been US for such short period
I feel like uve made a big impact on my life more than anyone ive ever been with (not that there any many..
I dont know whats waiting for us in the future
Whether or not u can forgive me
...
Thank u for this. .i was never an avid fan of watch..but having this with me everytime makes me feel close to u.evebtho we've grown apart now
 it may be too late now,arent we  :'(

-

When things dont go according to plan or your expectation,u just feel like :'(

Tahn tahan jangan depan orang nih
Tengah2 bukak puasa nih :'( da la x makan lg nih lmbt sgt.emo nye skrang nih

jejaka idaman

hakhak alkisahnya kat rumah ke kat keta ke mama suka dengar sinar fm
actually antara dua sinar fm or klasik fm
tapi kalau ma pasang klasik , mesti merayu kat ma please tukar sinar fm pun jadi la
hehe
tak sanggup klasik fm ooi

so dah terbiasa dengar lagu2 zaman tuh
skarang nih tsuka plak lagu raja ema nnih
lagu dia buat hati jadi happy, berbunga je
wlopun hakikatnya takde la bbunga bungi gitu hatinya biase2 aje :P



social suicide btol la kan cenggini :D  the things u discover masa jobless..rosak2 hehe

Throwback Rx8 Annual Grand Dinner

Lega rasanya bila open up to someone tadi
Err kawan pmpn ye
walaupun not everything tapi lepas abes tadi lega snagat
kurang perasaan tak elok tuh
Macam die cakap tak elok simpan2 nih.
Seteress hihi
lepas ilang seteress nih 
 tadi godek2 laptop balik
cari bukti permohonan kerja kat spa aritu
naseb bek jmpa.. ada orang yang kena retrieve balik dari wbsite dia
ish leceh2

dah ni tak tau nak buat ape..
tengok balik gambar AGD balik
hhaha adoih bengkak nya mata sy
mate tak bape sihat time tuh hehe
mekap pun tak dapat tutup sangat
iyelah mekap sndri bukan reti pon hehe

persembahan sisters Rx8..nyanyi nyanyi err sy pegang mic tu takd sape nak pegang haha

with the newly weds Mad and Raihan...emm takla newly wed sgt..da 1 sem gak ni

bukti ketara mata bgkak huhu..yang tinggi tuh la Homecoming Queen kitorang..mmg cun orangnye..lemah lembut plak tuh, :)

cover photo ckin skang..suwit nye..rindu plak segitiga bermuda kita haha

kenape eh tengok balik sume nih
rindu kot..aku jarang rindukan mnda2 camnih
mungkin dah takde benda nak pk skang kot
tanam anggur je kan..
eh ok lah dah janji ngn ma nak tman gi AEON jap

hehe nak claim kek mama janji aritu

selamat hari isnin
selamat berpuasa :)

:)

Its all cool and good
Im ok :)

Two things

Arini..eh smalam..ad 2 benda jadi
The 1st one yang petang tuh was nothing actually
But malam tuh bila the 2nd event jadik
The 1st one tuh i think macam
Eh macam tau2 ja yg 2nd thing ni nak jadik
Malas lah nak pk
Ive ignored the 1st thing
But later bila the 2nd thing jadik i couldnt help but to think of the 1st one
Berbelit kan
Right now nak ignore ja dua2 perkara
Kalau the third thing nak dtg pun
Hopefully nya takda lah
Nak ignore jak bah
Eh tah ape2

:P

Random

I kinda miss being crazy (though my crazy is nothing compared to that of my other bimbos hehe) ..