hidup di uni yang tak seperti dibayangkan

i've always heard people saying
that life in the university is so much fun
so much great
so laid back



but the one i'm having here is nothing like that.
not even close.


first of all, we pharmacy students here
need to learn ANATOMY.
which is the core subject for errrr??
medic students..
or does P.H.A.R.M.A.C.Y. actually spell medicine?

and fyi, here is the only university offering(which i do not welcome at all)
anatomy for pharmacy students.
i'm still not sure bout the universities abroad but well,
in msia, yes it is.

well, this is not just some stupid complaints i made.
just now, one of my course mates revealed her dissatisfaction
about our packed, hectic schedule to one of our lecturers..
she almost cried. well her mother did.
it's really something weird for me(for any of us i think)
that a pharmacy student is busier than a medic student.

but it is here.
our schedule is way hectic than the medic and dentistry students.
erkkkh... i;m still not used to it.
i admit, i did break down a few times here.
the environment, the people, the lectures,
the subjects...

i hate it!

we need to learn so many extra subjects which are not necessary
as a pharmacist
anatomy,arabic,bahasa melayu, islamic worldview(omg the 3-hour non stop
lecture is killing me!),tilawah,halaqah(need to memorize almathurat,hadis,surah bla3 in such short period)

o god! even now i feel like crying
i do not mind learning all that.
well most of it, but when it comes with all those anonymous terms, long surahs,
hadiths,almathurat,needed to be memorized in such short time..
well now that's a burden

especially for someone not from an islamic school background
like me..and a few others.

many times i tried to comfort myself
by saying ' takpe dapat pahala'
but each time, soon after that, i started breaking down.
what i need is time
and space


nothing can be forced rite..
now that i'm here,
in a islamic-based university,as a uni student,
as someone who have lost the very one golden opportunity before

i've kinda changed a bit
ive started focusing on lectures(altho there are those times that i just cant helped it)
ive started revising every nite(tak banyak pon sikit)
ive started bla3..(ade la mane bleh cite sume)

well i noe ive changed a bit(tak banyak mane)
but if my emotion is consistently unstable like this
i donno if i can keep up with all these
im just afraid i would turned out to be the same ignorant farah i
used to when i was in intec, the farah who has given up longgg before ssabsa..

and eventually, led her here.

and seriously, she hates it!
serves u rite.kalo tak u wont be here.


=(





current mood: emo