Tuesday, January 3, 2012

oh the feeling

it's the 3rd January 2012
still not too late for me to bid farewell to 2011
and welcome its predecessor

it's the 3rd January
and yeah, i'm already in examination mode
so far i've got to kill 3 essay papers

so how did i do so far??

i'd say..hmmm
seriously i'd rather not say
don't know why certain things got into me
in these crucial times

those who have the privileges
to access my updated thoughts and ramblings through ....
i'd rather not say too


..might have noticed the vivid discomposed and deranged
ramblings i've made the past few weeks
but really i am a kind of people who spill out lots of things but only on superficial
so memang ada yang tanya
kenapa nangis..kenapa sedih je sekarang...kenapa tu kenapa ni

ade la. tak ramai tanya
tapi ada la certain people might have noticed
tapi never have i revealed the exact reasons
just a little 'emo sket' ,'xde ape', 'omsik je' etc

this has been going for about one month lebih i think
mula2 sem semangat..
my kind of semangat mungkin lah tak sama dengan orang
tapi at least i was able to focus on studying bila ada quiz
attend classes, engaged myself to stuffs (again tak same la ngan orang yang aktif sane sini but still)
but then, something happened.and i just lost it..

so basically a series of downturns  started to take place
my mood act up like a rollercoaster
kejap down gile kejap high gile yang mungkin occur sebab im trying to conceal and cover everything up
and selalunya mama jadi victim, unfortunately
bleh kate everyday i call her just to sob
haha sampai my bro cakap aritu..kalau orang kol mama je, mesti aunty gee atau kak diba je

tapi kan..my mom pun tanye..why, what's up with me actually
until now..
so basically the mystery (misteri ke? ) has yet to unfold
by anyone..

(i literally just took a heavy, deep sigh just now)

sampai sekarang, i still feel it
sampai sekarang, i'm still trying to ignore it and get my mind on track
tolong lah..lupekan sekejap time exam week ni

o god i seek mercy from U

happy new year


saje random: orang cantik hensem follow blog ni kalau rase blog ni banyak crappy posts sekarang, feel free to unfollow..i dont mind really :)

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